Simple Solution to a Complicated Problem

I get an email everyday; its called MountainWings. "MountainWings is a FREE Daily E-Mail that makes you Laugh, Think, and just plain Feel Good about Life. To subscribe go to http://www.mountainwings.com/. "

Anyways, somedays I begin reading the MountainWings email, decide it doesn't apply and delete it. And other days it offers me a piece of wisdom or gives me something I can use or share with others. This MountainWings moment was titled: "Simple Solution to a Complicated Problem," in black. My comments, or interpretaion in in blue. I'm sure some of you will say there is no simple solution, but my belief is that there actually is a simple solution and it all begins with the first two words, "I'm sorry."

1. "I'm sorry." Sometimes the hardest thing to say, but more often than not, the hardest thing to accept.

A Chinese proverb says, "If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."

Wise words. And hindsight always has been and will continue to be 20/20. However, for most people, anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind. Haven't we all, at times, said things we wish we could take back as soon as the words have left our mouths? Saying you're sorry doesn't change the fact that the words have been said. You can't take back what has been put out there. And in a perfect world everyone would stop and think before they speak. But sometimes, in the heat of the moment the intent is to hurt the other person as much as you feel you have been hurt, so you say things that you don't really feel and things that you then find yourself embarrassed or ashamed to have said. Offering a heartfelt and sincere apology is the first step and the rest is in the heart of the recipient of that apology.

2. "Forgive me." Easy to ask for; sometimes hard for someone to do. But in the end, forgiveness benefits everyone, for holding a grudge wastes time and serves no purpose.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." Mahatma Ghandi


3. "I love you." Goes without saying -- The best three words ever. True love is neither physical nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be. True love is unconditional, accepting, and forgiving.

"Just because someone doesn't love you in the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they've got. " - author unknown



4. "You were right." Hard to say as that would be admitting you were wrong, and who wants to ever be wrong. But it takes a brave person to admit they are wrong and to ask for forgiveness. It takes an even braver person to accept that acknowledgment and not throw it back in the other person's face.

5. "Maybe mama was right."

6. "I'll just let it go." It takes forgiveness and understanding to say this. Life is too short to stay angry and once again, it serves no purpose. It accomplishes nothing other than to continue to breed resentment and unhappiness.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it a someone else; you are the one who gets burned." Buddha

7. "It's not really that important."

8. "It's just ego, I'm acting like a baby." You can remain angry and you can stand on "principle" but its all just a waste of time.

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness." Ralph Waldo Emerson

9. "Let me just calm down." Maybe I over-reacted and that led to something even worse.

If we all had the ability to "rehearse" our words before we let loose then there would never be any chance of saying something to cause such anger. But people react and things are said. Sometimes things are said that should never be said. Sometimes, a person's maturity level keeps them from knowing when to stop or from knowing things that shouldn't ever be said to those you love. Sometimes one should think about their friends and whether they would ever hear them say something like that out of anger to their family member. If you don't think they would ever say that to their family, why would you think its acceptable for you to say?

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret."
Lawrence J Peter

10."Let me look at it from their point of view." Everyone has their side to the story. Everyone wants to be right. You can be dead right, or you can be dead wrong. Either way you're still dead.

"Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten." Buddha

Love and forgiveness are the key.