She Ain't Heavy, She's My Mother

My mother came up from Florida for Christmas this year. She had had second thoughts about traveling, as she had been sick with a cough for about 10 days.  And as she put it, she "didn't want to be a problem or ruin our Christmas."  Mom came in on Tuesday, the 22nd and we could tell almost right away that things weren't quite right with her.  She spent the whole night coughing after she went to bed and woke up feeling worse.  We took her to an urgent care facility and the doctor recommended she have a chest x-ray.  The results:  possible pneumonia.  She was given an antibiotic and some cough syrup, but neither seemed to help much.  She was supposed to fly to California the 26th, but woke up that morning feeling a whole lot worse and so we ended up at the emergency room at Arlington Memorial.  They decided it would be best to admit her and so she spent the next 4 days in the hospital.  She finally got to come home, but the doctor recommended she not fly for at least another week.  So, Mom's 9 day trip to Dallas and California, became an 18 day stay with us.


Well, needless to say, she didn't ruin our Christmas.  We enjoyed having her here with us and for the first time in years, she was here when ALL of our kids were here.

Aaron, Jeanne and Amira came in on Christmas Eve.  And, while we were supposed to go to Joanna and Billy's for our traditional Christmas Eve dinner at their house, we didn't make it due to the "blizzard" that blew into Northern Texas that day.

For the first time since 1898 (when they began keeping records) Dallas / Fort Worth had a white Christmas.  How cool is that?!?!?





So, anyways, the reason for the name of this post.  Si and I took Mom to the airport this morning and after making sure she got on her plane, as we were heading home from the airport, this song, "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother" came on the radio.  I've taken the liberty of changing a few of the words.....

The road is long

With many a winding turn

That leads us to where

Who knows where

But I'm strong

Strong enough to carry her

She ain't heavy, she's my Mother

So on we go

Her welfare is my concern

No burden is she to bear

We'll get there

It's a long, long road

From which there is no return

While we're on the way to there

Why not share

And the load

Doesn't weigh me down at all

She ain't heavy, she's my Mother.

You see, while my Mom was here, Si and I did a lot of things for her; things most people take for granted being able to do for themselves.  We helped her up and down the stairs (I would give anything for a one-story house); we made sure she got decent meals and made sure she took all of her medicines.  I helped her get her shower, get dressed, and even tucked her into bed each night.  And as we helped her with these different things, I realized that being a caregiver is a lot like being a parent.  You walk a fine line between wanting to assist, to step in and just do things for them, and just letting them do it for themselves.  Its kind of like when you watch your child struggling to learn a new skill.  You want to help them, to make things easier for them, but you have to step back just a little and let them do it themselves.  And as I continued to help my mom with all these things, I began to realize how our roles have changed.  My mom used to take care of me as a child, doing all these things for me that I was now doing for her.  Watching me struggle to do something and wanting to help.  Watching me hurt and wanting to make things better.  And now it was my turn to show her how much she means to me; to show her that, just as I was not a burden to her, she is not a burden to me.  And just as she did those things for me because she loved me, I gratefully accepted the task of taking care of her, because I love her.  I owe her at least that much.   I know I am the person I am, and the mom I am because of the example she set for me as I was growing up.  I have to think that God had a hand in all of this.  That maybe all of this happened the way it did so that I could, in some small way, repay my Mom for all the ways she loved me and took care of me as a child.

And then, as Si and I continued on home, the very next song on the radio was, "Ain't No Mountain High Enough."   Two songs in a row that made it seem as if someone was speaking directly to me.   So, Mom, just remember:

Although we are miles apart

If you ever need a helping hand

I'll be there on the double

As fast as I can

Don't you know that

There ain't no mountain high enough

Ain't no valley low enough

Ain't no river wide enough

To keep me from getting to you

I love you Mom.  Thanks for coming to Texas for Christmas.  I know it gets harder and harder for you to travel each year, but we are all so grateful that you came.